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Barney Binns' Bad Basketball Court

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Monday, July 12th, 2004
8:20 am - Professor Binns?

My opinion on the ghostly professor? I find History of Magic terribly boring. Why worry about the pitiful attempts of goblins to overthrow wizarding kind, or house elves lobbying for wand rights, or all those TERRIBLE acts of prosecution those awful MUGGLES exposed us to . . .

Maybe in a few years wizarding history will be interesting. Then everyone will learn about ME, and how I, one of the last of the bloodline Black, the great warrior and duellist Bellatrix Lestrange, brought the wizarding world to its old glory of pure blood and dark arts, revealing itself in its full horror to the foul Muggles as they cringe in fear and submission! I, the right-hand woman of the Dark Lord himself, hardened through 14 years of Azkaban prison, skilled at torture, even murder! The only Death Eater to escape the Department of Mysteries! I will bring back the old regime-- SINGLEHANDEDLY!

Oh . . . that guy I work for, the one who looks like a snake . . . he can help, too, a little bit.



*Dodges the rabid fangirls unsuccessfully and slinks off with a limp.*

current mood: crazy

(2 tounraments won! | Shoot a basket?)

Sunday, March 7th, 2004
10:33 am - Yo!


Da Roozta says ghetto_nerd should join!

current mood: blank

(Shoot a basket?)

Monday, February 16th, 2004
1:57 pm - yo Yo YO


Just wanna wish you guys a good President's Day, and I have a few facts to tell you about our dear founding fathers *nat that they are true, or anything*

George Washington. Good Guy. Invented Basketball. After he cut down that cherrytree, he used his un-needed surplus of cherry baskets to make the first basketball hoop, and decided to become an orange farmer, where he got the idea to use a bright orange ball as a basketball.

Abraham Lincoln. After freeing the slaves, he built one of the first basketball courts in one of the first ghettos. His height played an important role in his secret career as a professional underground basketball player. His false name was 'Lucky Tall Guy,' and became a legend after the saying 'White Boy Can't Jump' was dedicated to him after an emberrassing defeat in which he tripped over some rougue pennies in the middle of the court, and lost to Harriet Tubman aka "The Woman Warrior Basketball Queen"

current mood: sick

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Sunday, February 1st, 2004
9:26 am - Hmmm.

Wouldn't it be nice if we had some more members?

current mood: contemplative

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Sunday, January 25th, 2004
6:56 pm - WOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GO BINSEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am eating cookie dough. My family wolfed down a meal from Taco Bell in FOUR minutes. Now that's impressive. Can anyone tell me when Binsey's next game is? I'm making a banner for him even as we speak. GO BINSEY, GO!!!!!!! lol anyway gotta run. Chocolate for everyone! Hey! that rimed..rymed? rhymed?

current mood: bouncy

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Saturday, January 24th, 2004
4:04 pm - Hmm

Ah. Such a wondeful story! Some people at least are motivated enough to add to the community *unlike Rocky* Hmm.




current mood: touched

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4:05 pm - Waaaaaaay to Ironic

Check it out:

current mood: giddy

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4:01 pm - I'm so stupid.. Forgot to put the story with it.

And here it is:

Professor Binns heard the bell ring. Or, to be completely accurate, he didn't so much hear the bell as wake up to it. His eyes fluttered open as the ringing died away, and he rose out of his chair, trying to remember the subject for today's History of Magic lecture. Was it goblins... or giants? No matter. There was always the Giant-Goblin War of 713. Or was it 512?

As he made his way through the corridors, he noticed that the old castle wasn't as drafty as it used to be. Perhaps, he thought, they'd finally started listening to him and done something about it.

He also noted, in a more absent fashion, that he didn't feel quite as heavy as he used to. In fact, he felt absolutely... light on his feet. That diet is really working out for me, he thought.

Professor Binns arrived at the door of his classroom and entered. If he'd been more observant than he was, he might have noticed that he didn't have to open the door to go through it.

He was teaching his first year Gryffindor class today. He always did like the Gryffindors. He'd been a Gryffindor himself when he was a lad. Or was it Ravenclaw? No, he surely was a Hufflepuff... maybe. At least he was certain he hadn't been a Slytherin. Perhaps.

At any rate, the class was seated already, so he began his lecture. He noted, with a surprised delight, that the students were paying far more attention to him than they had been before. Keep your flashy Animagus form, Professor McMiller, Binns thought, a good lecture is enough for them any day.

“Er, Professor?” A question! Dear Lord, that hadn't happened in... decades, at least.

He looked up at the girl who'd raised her hand. Ashley... Spinner. “Yes, Miss Spinner?” he asked with barely surpressed glee. Not that it was apparent in his voice.

“Are you feeling all right, Professor? You look a little...” the girl struggled to find a word.

“Dead,” one of the Williams twins suggested. Greg, Professor Binns thought.

“That's one way of putting it.”

“Now that's ridiculous,” Professor Binns snapped. This was not the question and answer excitement he'd looked forward to. “I feel as fine as I ever have.”

“But sir,” the other twin said. Francis. “You're a bit... see-through.”

Professor Binns looked down at his foot. Sure enough, it wasn't all there. Hmm. Curious. “I'll have the nurse take a look at me as soon as class is over. If there are no more questions?”

“Sir, I don't think Madam Pomfrey can help you with this,” Greg Williams insisted.

“Why not, Mister Williams?”

“Because you're dead!”

“Well, perhaps I'll get better.”

“With all due respect, Professor, you don't get better from being dead,” Angela Jonathon said. ““Being dead isn't exactly a temporary ailment.”

Binns frowned. He didn't recall dying. Even if his memory was slipping a bit, that's not something one forgets in a hurry. “Ridiculous,” he repeated. “Whatever my condition, I still have a class to teach. Now, the Giant-Goblin War of 713...” he began droning. The gazes of the students slipped away.


True to his word, after class, Professor Binns slipped to the Hospital Ward, carefully avoiding people on his way. “Nurse?” he called as he entered.

“Is that you, Professor OH MY LORD!” she screamed, dropping the tray of chocolate she'd been carrying.

“No, it's Professor Binns,” he said calmly, taking no notice of her reaction. “My students have been telling me I look a bit under the weather.”

“You are,” she agreed shakily. “Er... would you like me to prepare the body for burial?”

“Oh,” he said, disappointed. “So there's nothing you can do, then?”

“No. I'm afraid not. We should probably notify Professor Dumbledore, though,” the nurse said.

As if Summoned, the Headmaster appeared at the door. “What was that, Poppy?” Dumbledore asked, entering the room.

“I'm dead,” Professor Binns answered.

“Oh, that's a shame. Would you like me to read your eulogy?”

“No thank you, Professor. I'll take care of it. No one knew me better than I did.”

“Of course, Professor Binns. And will you still be teaching?”

Professor Binns, may he rest in peace, looked affronted. “Of course. Being dead doesn't subtract from my knowledge of history. Why, off the top of my head, I can think of several Goblin Wars. For example, the Goblin-Giant War of 317 lead into the Giant Goblin War of 320, which... Professor, are you awake?”

current mood: embarrassed

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3:59 pm

Hey I looked up Binns on Google and I found this. It was quite interesting... From Binns point of view... Except, they forgot the part about basketball.

current mood: blah

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Friday, January 23rd, 2004
3:45 pm - HELLO MY PEEPS!

Yo yo YO! I found some background info on PIMP DADDY BINNS! YEAUH!


Of course, dey spelled the name wrong. . . But Dats cool, yall, Dats cool.

current mood: listless

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Thursday, January 22nd, 2004
3:50 pm

Um. . . What exactly do you do in this community? OH, You know what? I hate the way Binns gots so many HATERS! Where is the LOVE? I mean, I go to google. I tyoe in any name from the Harry Potter books, and what do you know. . Shrines, Fansites, but I type in binns, I get nothing. . . Nothing like what Harry and Ron, and even Neville get.

I even go to the images selection, and only ONE person decided to give poor binns a face. . . A really odd face.



current mood: cold

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Wednesday, January 21st, 2004
5:17 pm - YO yo

Yeah. Tory Here. In the. . . crib (?) I am joining the Binnsey community (ghetto (?)) so. Heheh. I like the Icon.

current mood: bouncy

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Wednesday, January 14th, 2004
4:46 pm - Ello Ello!

It's Roxie! I am joining, as the o' shiny one, Maria, commands.

current mood: crazy

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Tuesday, January 13th, 2004
6:51 pm - YEEEAUH!!!!!!!

Yo, dawgs! Dis is Bawney BINNS!!!!!!!! Wooooo! I got my own community!!!! YEAUH!!!!!! Yo! You all must join!!! Yeauh! Speciawy YOU best FWIEND!!! YES YOU BEHIND THE HATSTAND!!!1! YEAAAAAUHH! !Dis wulez!

current mood: happy

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